"People put tremendous pressure on themselves to give the perfectpresent," says Leah Ingram, a specialist on gift-giving, adding thatit doesn't have to be that way. There are some simple steps you cantake, even at the last minute, to give thoughtful gifts that will bewell-received.
Ingram is a gift consultant, writer, and author of "You Shouldn'tHave! How to Give Gifts They'll Never Forget" (Contemporary Books).She is also a mother, wife, and daughter, with baby sitters,neighbors, and friends - like so many other people. And she loves togive gifts.
Ingram's approach is almost simplistic. "Think back to gifts givenby chance, where the reaction was big," she advises, and examinethose genuinely excited responses. Look at these gift successes anduse them as your guide. Ingram actually suggests you "fight the urgeto be creative."
Some of her general advice sets the tone:
Use great gifts you have received yourself as inspiration forgifts to give.
Train people close to you to be open with gift-relatedinformation. Find out what people actually want.
Tell others what you want.
Wine and chocolates are always well-received.
Gifts that give back and gifts that benefit good causes arethoughtful, especially this year.
Support local small businesses.
Start a tradition that will create continuity with next year'sgift-giving, and make it easier as time goes on. As Ingram says, "Ifyou have a tradition, half the problem is solved."
"My mother started a tradition with my daughters, and I wouldencourage anyone to do something similar," she says. "The year eachgirl was born, she bought her an angel ornament for the tree." Thechildren anticipate the ornaments, which then become part of theirtree-trimming experience, and it's fun for their grandmother as well.
Be observant. Think about what people do in their spare time, shesays. "Gift-giving is all about the recipient, so the more youactually consider them, the more successful you will be with yourideas."
As Ingram says, "If you have a friend who's a bird-watcher, thengive them a bird-related gift." Seems like an obvious choice, butpeople forget these little things, and it's the little things thatmake a difference. Give a bird guide book, some tiny but strongbinoculars, a subscription to an Audubon publication, fancy birdseed,or a squirrel-proof bird feeder.
Divide your list by categories: teenagers and pre-teens,grandparents, children, friends, service people, neighbors.
For teenagers and pre-teens, Ingram says, "get on the Internet andbasically go to the mall. Get them gift certificates to the storeswhere they want to shop. They'll always love what you give them."Favorite stores like The Gap, Limited Too, Tower Records,Strawberries, Target, and Amazon.com are perfect for a gift card forthis age group, and the recipients will love every minute of shoppingfor themselves after the holidays. (This works better than an item ofclothing they will never wear, as, inevitably, you will be wrong.)Much as it seems that they all like the same things, teenagers andpre-teens pride themselves on their individuality. Gift certificatesmight seem dull or impersonal to you, Ingram says, but the youngpeople in your life won't think so.
"For grandparents, give gifts that feature the kids or are made byyour children," she suggests. A school picture in a nice frame isalways a hit. Don't forget to give a wallet-sized photo as well, forshow-and-tell. Something one of the children painted at a paint-your-own-pottery store would be welcome. If there's not enough time toboth paint and glaze before the holidays, do it anyway and have yourchildren give their grandparents a card with a little drawing and acryptic note, saying their gift is still cooking.
Speaking of cooking, have the children paint a plate, then fill itwith cookies that you've made together for the grandparents.
Children's artwork also makes a great gift, and most camera shopsthese days can scan or copy your little artist's work onto an apron,mouse pad, mug, or key chain, to name a few.
For teachers, Ingram suggests chocolates (she's big on chocolate),a gift certificate for a manicure, a gift certificate to a local bookseller, even a Staples gift certificate.
For friends who live close by, Ingram suggests restaurant giftcertificates and baby sitting certificates. This year, she and herhusband picked a theme. They are giving housewares, figuring peopleare staying home a little more.
Ingram also offers a few tried-and-true rules of gift-giving thatseem basic but are worth reiterating.
Know your recipient; then you can shop with confidence.
Consider your budget. Don't equate the value of the gift with therecipient.
Personalize the gift, whenever possible. This doesn't mean amonogram, rather a gift that will feel personal to the recipient. Ifyou have a friend who is always stymied at dinnertime, give them "TheMinimalist Cooks Dinner" by Mark Bittman (Broadway Books), perhaps,or "The Best American Recipes for 2001," edited by Fran McCullough(Houghton Mifflin), cookbooks that might actually give them ideas.
Don't reinvent the wheel. If your mother-in-law loves getting "TheNew Yorker" every year, don't stop giving it to her. Variations on atheme also work. "Don't mess with success," admonishes Ingram. "Butif inspiration hits, go for it."
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